Series 2 Episode 4. Sex and the body in the therapy room
Sexual feelings in the therapy space can be pushed underground and made into a taboo topic. How do we navigate sexual feelings in our clients and ourselves across differences of gender and sexuality, while at the same time staying tuned to the reality of our bodies and our practice ethics?
Rachael speaks to Kate Hoyland (she/her), a person-centred counselling psychologist and producer of The Encounters Podcast.
Rachael writes: We (Kate and I) have wanted to record an episode on sex and the body in person-centred practice for some time. A motivation for recording the episode related to our desire to challenge the frequent silences and brevity of exploration this topic receives within therapy training and beyond. I greatly enjoyed the encounter with Kate which comes through in our sparky discussion!
The episode explored questions concerning intimacy, vulnerability, attraction and how physicality manifests in person-centred practice. We focused on the importance of holding gentle curiosity towards how our sexuality/sexualities accompany us into the therapy room, supervision, and as humans more generally moving through life. We explored the unequivocal and ongoing ethical responsibilities we have to our clients and ourselves in how we respond to being embodied therapists with sexualities.
Given the silence/misunderstandings around asexual ways of being within much therapy discourse, it felt important to consider asexuality and to emphasise that person-centred perspectives on sexuality are not prescriptive. Peter Schmid articulates this well through a person-centred lens. We sought to challenge harmful notions of ‘correctness’ regarding human sexuality while holding empathy for clients who may hold such perspectives.
We covered much ground in the episode and there is still more to be said. This encounter feels like the tip of the iceberg from two cisgender, white western, non-disabled women who each have their own, unique experiences of sex and sexuality. We hope the podcast stimulates ongoing, experiential discussions on sex, sexuality within person-centred ethics and practice.
Rachael’s referencing of Dominic Davies’ chapter highlights the importance of living well and ethically within our sexualities. This is particularly, though not limited to, if we inhabit queer social spaces, participate with online dating/hookups and kink communities. Additionally, I would recommend an experiential study day offered by Jan Hawkins on Sexual Feelings in the Counselling/Therapy Relationship. Near the end of 2025, I attended Jan’s study day which spontaneously grew to three separate days over the course of several months! It’s curious to consider the encounter with Kate alongside the subsequent, unfolding experience of working in a small group and how changed I feel.