How is it that sometimes we feel heard and deeply accompanied, whilst at others we feel that our communication skills have collapsed, or that the listener has just changed the subject? Whilst we may expect, tolerate and understand this in our everyday relationships, how would we feel if our therapist seemed to be doing the very same thing? Person-centred practitioners aim to provide the core attitudinal qualities of empathy, congruence and unconditional positive regard. How do we spot our own selective empathy, or our lostness in empathy? Being lost in empathy can become collusive, and most importantly , mean that we are unable to provide the blend of the core attitudinal qualities of the person-centred approach, which reduces the potency of the relationship. This day will allow participants to explore the possible blind spots or unresolved issues that cause selective empathy. It will include discussion of the self directed nature of the person-centred process, and how unrecognized selective, or lostness in, empathy may subtly be directing.